Nigerian men are experts in soft landings. They’ll never just say “I don’t want you anymore.”
No, that’s too simple.
They’ll hit you with poetic lines, you’ll think you’re still in love until you realize you’ve just been gently escorted out of the relationship.
Here are 10 classic breakup lines Nigerian men use when they’ve already broken up with you in their mind:
- “Your husband will enjoy you.”
This means that you’re not part of his future plans
It’s a beautiful way to say bye bye.
- “You deserve better than me.”
Nigerian men love this “thoughtful” breakup phrase.
Basically means: “I’m dumping you but making it sound like a charity donation.”
- “I don’t want to waste your time.”
Meanwhile, he’s already wasted 3 years of your time.
This line is just one useless gaslighting.
- “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”
But give him 3 weeks, he’ll be “ready” with someone else.
Truly motivational.
- “I’m focusing on my hustle.”
Because apparently, having a girlfriend affects his hustling spirit. You’ll watch him hustle right into a new relationship.
- “Let’s just be friends.”
Friendship ke? After genital meet and greet?? No oooo.
Just forget about him at this point.
- “You’re like a sister to me.”
In what universe??
Since when????
He is not only breaking up with you, he is turning you into family.
- “I can’t give you the kind of love you want.”
As how nau???
You didn’t complain about the one you were receiving ooo. He has now decided on your behalf that the love isn’t enough, but he’ll be busy giving someone else. Simple maths.
- “God told me you’re not my wife.”
God didn’t say anything to him. He suddenly received heavenly revelation. This revelation always arrives right after he’s met someone “more suitable.”
Hallelujah, somebody!
- “You’re too good for me.”
Which means he is not trying to be that good person for you. Then you realize he’s leaving you for someone he considers worse.
What a life.
So…..
Ladies, if you’ve heard at least three of these lines, don’t argue, just know you’re not in a relationship, you’re in pre-breakup orientation.
And next time a man says, “Your husband will enjoy you,” just smile and reply, “Yes, and your next girlfriend will suffer you.”
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