Some people are just… built differently. Not in a “superior” way. Not in a “destined for greatness” way. But in a “honestly, who raised you?” kind of way.
We’re not saying you’re unwell, but your habits have small spiritual undertone. You’re the kind of person who does strange things casually, like it’s normal. It’s not. But it’s entertaining sha
If you do any of the following, welcome. You’re not mad… you’re just wired differently.
1. You Press Toothpaste from the Middle Like You’re Fighting It
Who hurt you?
So you just hate peace? There’s a perfectly fine end section for the gentle, consistent squeeze. But no, you agent of chaos. You wake up and choose violence, you must press it from the middle like you’re trying to squeeze sense out of your life. And you’re okay with the paste being lopsided and looking like it went through heartbreak. May God help whoever marries you
2. You Delete the Entire Sentence Because of One Typo
You typed “amanzing” instead of “amazing,” and instead of correcting the spelling like a normal person, you deleted the whole thing like your life depends on it. Shakespeare go fear your level of dramatics.
One letter mistake?
For what exactly? So your ancestors can be proud of you?
3. You Shake Your Foot Before Sleeping
You can’t sleep peacefully unless you’re doing subtle legwork with your feet. You’re not possessed o, just wired like a fan that must spin before shutting down. If your leg isn’t doing rhythmic nonsense, your brain refuses to enter sleep mode. How do you explain to people that you need to shake your foot to “summon sleep”? Are you okay?
4. You Use Your Fingers to Cut Off Your Toenails
Manicure kit? God forbid!
Nail cutters are sold for like ₦300-₦500. But nooo, you want to feel something.
You bend down like a DIY technician, using your God-given fingers to pull and snap. One day, you’ll pluck your destiny with that technique, but until then, we see you and we hail you o.
5. You Bite Your Nails Like It’s Biscuit
We’ve all been there once or twice. Some of us bite our nails when we’re nervous. But you??? Your case is different. You’ve turned it into a full-time career. You bite your nails like you’re searching for flavor. Your fingers haven’t seen a nail in 3 years and that’s okay with you.
Even your pinky is scared of you. Shame on you.
You dey chop nails with pride.
6. Cracking Your Knuckles Every 10 Minutes
You’ll just be there in a peaceful environment, then krakra-krakra! like you’re about to enter WWE. Nobody called fight o. But you must crack your knuckles like Thanos preparing for war.
Even your joints are tired. Give them a break, please, but you say it helps you “think better.” Hmmm, okay o.
7. You Talk to Yourself Out Loud
Not whisper o! We’re talking full-blown conversation.
You’re giving full monologue, different accents, even throwing in dramatic pauses, “Should I wear red or black?” you ask yourself. Then you answer. Then you disagree. Then you sigh. Agba intra communicator.
At this point, we don’t know if you’re okay or if you’ve entered Season 3 of your personal telenovela. But carry on, you and your panel of inner voices are doing well.
8. You Keep Empty Containers “Just in Case”
Empty perfume bottles that finished in 2019. Wine bottles. Plastic containers from takeout, you say, “It might be useful one day.”
Useful for what, please? A memory museum? A DIY project from Pinterest?? Even your room is tired of your sentimental hoarding.
9. You Enjoy Mixing Food That Have No Business Together
Fried yams and ogi. Bread and coconut. Biscuits inside rice. Chin chin soaked in yoghurt.
You say it’s “experimenting,” but your stomach says, “una go hear am.”
Only God knows what your tastebuds ever do to deserve this kind of confusion.
10. You Rearrange Your Apps Every Week Like It’s NAFDAC Inspection
You rearrange your apps every week like your phone screen is under NAFDAC inspection. One minute Instagram is front and center, next minute it’s buried behind Notes and Calculator, your phone no dey rest. It’s like your home screen dey suffer OCD at this point.
Digest Am
Look, life is too boring to be normal. If you found yourself in at least 4 of these signs, don’t worry. You’re not crazy, you’re just wired with extra spice. Embrace your chaos. You make the world more interesting, even if we’re still judging you for pressing toothpaste from the middle.
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