Mondays in Nigeria are not for the faint-hearted. From dragging yourself out of bed to pretending you’re excited about “new week, new goals,” we all know the struggle.
From the moment you open one eye and realize it’s not Saturday, your brain starts serving motivational quotes it doesn’t believe.
We whisper sweet lies to ourselves every Monday morning just to survive the week.
Whether you’re a 9-5 warrior, a freelancer, a remote worker or just someone pretending to work while waiting for alerts, let’s drag ourselves together:
1. “This week, I’ll be productive.”
On Monday morning, you’re basically the CEO of motivation. You’ve written your to-do list, color-coded your planner, and even promised yourself to “stay focused.”
By Wednesday? You’re dodged tasks like how NEPA dodges responsibility
You’re binge-watching Big Brother highlights at work and Googling “how to relocate to Canada.”
2. “I won’t spend money anyhow.”
Ah, the Monday budgeting spirit. You’ll swear by Amadioha that you’re cooking all your meals at home this week and you’ve even unfollowed that vendor that sells wigs with names like “CEO Energy.”
Fast forward to lunch: you’re ordering shawarma because NEPA took light and you “don’t want your rice to spoil.”
We hail you ooo
3. “I’ll Quit This Job Soon.”
Every Monday, you rehearse your resignation speech in your head. You imagine walking out with your head held high, maybe even dropping mic-worthy lines like “I’m not a slave to this system.”
But by Friday, you’re calculating how to stretch your salary till next month and praying your boss doesn’t notice you’ve been “working remotely” from your bed
4. “I won’t stress myself.”
Every Nigerian says this, but before 10am, your boss has already called three unnecessary meetings, LASTMA has shouted at you in traffic, and one random uncle has asked why you’re not married yet.
At this point, your peace? Missing.
Your stress levels? Premium.
5. “This week will be different.”
You say it with hope. You believe it. You even post it on your WhatsApp status with a sunrise emoji.
But deep down, you know it won’t.
But the lie must continue, otherwise how will you drag yourself out of bed on Monday morning?
So if you’re reading this at work and nodding to all five, just know you’re not alone. Mondays are a group project, and we’re all failing together.
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