Food is the heart of Nigerian culture, where a good plate of jollof can settle debates and a perfect pot of egusi can make a man rethink his life choices. But what happens when your own cooking is the reason your man is reevaluating his relationship with food? If you suspect he’s suffering in silence, here are five signs that confirm your kitchen skills might not be his favorite thing about you:
1. He Overly Compliments Your Effort, But Not the Taste
If he’s constantly saying, “Ah babe, you really try!” or “You put in so much work!” instead of “This tastes amazing,” that’s your first red flag. When his compliments focus more on the effort than the actual flavor, it’s likely that he’s choosing kindness over truth.
Watch out for phrases like “I love how much you care about cooking,” instead of “I love how this tastes!” because that subtle difference means he’s appreciating your effort while secretly wishing he ordered takeout.
2. The Meal Dodging Technique
Have you noticed that he’s always mysteriously “not hungry” right after you cook? Maybe he suddenly “ate earlier” or remembers “an urgent appointment” whenever mealtime approaches. Yet, once he steps out, he’s shamelessly buying suya or hitting up a local buka with suspicious enthusiasm.
If your food kills his appetite but the thought of eating out magically revives it, then you, my dear, need to accept the truth, he’s avoiding your cooking like Lagosians avoid traffic on Third Mainland Bridge.
3. He Takes Forever to Chew
Every bite feels like a full-on analysis. He’s chewing with the precision of a food critic judging a Michelin-star meal, but instead of savoring the flavors, he’s trying to figure out survival techniques. The prolonged chewing might be an attempt to process textures, brace himself for unexpected spices, or avoid swallowing something questionable.
If he looks more focused during dinner than during his last job interview, something is definitely off. Either he’s deep in thought about life, or struggling with the seasoning levels of your stew.
4. He Suggests Cooking Together, But Ends Up Taking Over
You think it’s a sweet bonding experience when he lovingly suggests, “Let’s cook together, babe!” until you realize that every time, he somehow ends up doing everything. He’s suddenly adjusting the seasoning, switching the ingredients, and giving advice like he’s hosting a cooking show.
At first, you think, “Aww, he just enjoys cooking with me,” but by the third time he completely takes over the meal, you start to suspect he’s saving his stomach in the most polite way possible. If he’s acting like a kitchen supervisor, just know this is his way of gently sparing his taste buds from unintended suffering.
5. He Never Asks for Seconds
A hungry Nigerian man turning down extra food? This is the biggest warning sign. Nigerian men are champions of demolishing meals, yet somehow, after your cooking, he claims to be full after just one plate.
If he’s unusually satisfied with tiny portions or leaving leftovers like he’s suddenly practicing self-control, something is wrong. The real test? Try offering him more food and watch his reaction, if he hesitates and says something like “I think I’ll just drink water,” then you, my dear, need to investigate!
Now, my dear sister, I won’t lie to you, love is a beautiful thing, but love won’t season food properly. If your man is showing all these signs, don’t take it personally. Just take action! Get a cookbook, follow a few YouTube tutorials too!
Because let’s face it, no matter how much he loves you, food is one of the greatest love languages, and bad cooking is one of the fastest ways to make a man reconsider his life choices. Save your man from the trauma of the food, season the soup properly, and let’s keep love alive!
