In Nigeria, we have a national talent for saying things that sound like comfort but are actually gaslighting wrapped in “concern.”
It’s never intentional (most of the time), but if you’ve ever opened up to someone about your stress, heartbreak, or general suffering, you’ve probably heard one of these “comfort phrases” that somehow made everything worse and makes you question your entire existence.
Let’s break them down.
1. “You’ll Be Fine”
Translation: I have nothing else to say, and I’m not about to start caring deeply, because your problems are not that serious, abeg.
This phrase is the national anthem of emotional dismissal. You could be going through heartbreak, job loss, or a dreadful feeling, and someone will just pat your back and say, “You’ll be fine.”
No empathy rara
What to say instead: “This sounds like a lot, do you want to talk about it?”
2. “Is That Why You’re Crying?”
Translation: You’re dramatic, and I’m judging you.
Ah yes, the ultimate guilt trip.
You’re shedding tears because life is lifing, and instead of tissues, you get judgment. This line makes you feel like your emotions are an inconvenience.
What to say instead: “It’s okay to cry, what happened?”
3. “Just Pray About It”
Translation: I have no solution, so I’ll outsource your problem to God.
The spiritual shutdown
It’s not that prayer isn’t powerful. It’s that this phrase is often used as a shortcut to avoid real conversations, therapy, or accountability.
What to say instead: “Let’s pray together, but also, let’s figure out a way forward.”
4. “It’s Not That Deep”
Translation: I don’t think your feelings are valid.
Spoiler: It is that deeeeeep.
This phrase is equal to stepping on your feelings with a dusty shoe. It’s used to minimize your pain, invalidate your experience, and remind you that in Nigeria, only physical injuries count as real problems.
What to say instead: “I might not fully get it, but I hear you.”
5. “At Least You…”
(At least you still have a job, at least you’re alive…)
Translation: Your suffering is nothing compared to what I think it should be.
This one is meant to give perspective, but it often feels like a threat. Like, okay, I’m not dead… but I’m not exactly thriving either.
It’s the kind of line that makes you wonder if being alive is just a consolation prize.
What to say instead: “This must be hard, I’m here for you.”
Thoughts…
Sometimes, you don’t need to say the most profound thing. You just need to shut up and listen.
So next time someone hits you with one of these lines, just smile, nod, and go cry in your room like a responsible adult.
Because truly… you’ll be fine at the end of the day.
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