Everyone has that one advice they wish they never listened to. Especially when it comes to money or marriage, the two things Nigerians love to dish out unsolicited advice about. Whether it’s your mother-in-law dropping generational wisdom or your village uncle talking from expired experience, one thing’s for sure: not all advice should be taken.
Let’s hear from a few people who now know better.
Sandra, 45
When I got married 15 years ago, my mother-in-law called me aside and said, “A woman who loves her marriage should have a joint account with her husband.” According to her, that’s how she and my father-in-law built their family together. I smiled and nodded, but deep down I said, “God forbid.” That’s how generational patterns start, soft manipulation dressed as tradition. Not in my own marriage. Abeggg o.
Tunde, 30
I finished school at 22, would have been earlier but no thanks to ASUU intervention, and jumped straight into the corporate world. My dad advised me to buy a car and hire a driver so I could use it for “multiple income streams.” Worst. Advice. Ever.
The car always had one new problem every week, and the driver? Let’s just say accountability wasn’t in his CV. After months of headaches and disappearing money, I sold the car. If I had invested in land instead, by now I’d be balling.
Chidera, 28
Before marriage, I was a Project Manager earning ₦350k monthly, not bad at all. Then I got married, and boom! The baby came nine months later. The pressure was a lot. My husband suggested I resign so he could “handle everything.”
To be fair, he’s doing his best, but I won’t lie, I see the toll it’s taking on him. I wish I stayed, even if it became a contract employment. Marriage shouldn’t mean trading independence for exhaustion on one side.
Ifeanyi, 34
My uncle once told me, “A man must build a house in the village before marriage, else women won’t respect you.” So, like mumu, I carried all my savings and built a three-bedroom in Anambra. Meanwhile, I live and work in Abuja.
Now the house is sitting empty, surrounded by bushes, and I’m still paying rent where I actually live. And women? They still left when they wanted. Respect is not attached to having a zinc roof over your head, plissssss.
Bola, 32
A friend once said, “If you want peace in marriage, let your husband handle all the finances.” I tried it. Sat pretty and watched my financial IQ shrink while waiting for monthly allowance like I was an NYSC Corper. One day we had a small crisis, and guess who had zero backup plan? Me.
I now run my own account quietly. No announcement. Because God gave me a brain too.
Uche, 29
One aunty looked me dead in the eye and said, “Don’t marry for love, marry for stability.”
I listened as per good girl.
Married a “stable” man who never cheated, never shouted… and never talked. It was me and my echo in that house.
He paid the bills, yes, but I was lonely every single day. Now I’m in therapy trying to recover from a marriage that looked good on paper but was empty in reality. Next time, I’m marrying for both love and financial stability.
Moral of the story?
Advice is cheap, but the consequences are costly.
Before you take that “my dear, in our time…” speech seriously, remember: not everyone giving advice has receipts. And some people are just projecting their regrets in your direction.
So, shine your eyes before you take anyone’s word as gospel, ask yourself, “If this turns to shege, who go chop am?”
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