We are literally only a few days into the new month, and already, your salary account is already looking like it has packed its bags and bounced. No warning, no sentimental goodbye text, just a cold-hearted debit alert and an echo in your bank app. Skincare? Untouched. Haircare? Still dreaming. Essentials? Well… does bottled water count?
And yet, this isn’t your first rodeo. Deep down, you knew what was coming. It’s not that you’re financially reckless. No. You just have a long-time companion who never forgets to show up: Black Tax.
Black Tax Is That Friend Who Has Your BVN on Speed Dial
Forget friendships. Forget your gym subscription. Forget that your barber doesn’t even show up on time. Before you even get the chance to split your salary into “Soft Life” and “Serious Life,” Black Tax has already sent a good morning text. It doesn’t wait for you to plan, rest, or even breathe. Once your salary drops, its sensors activate. You’re barely done screaming “Salary don enter!” before you’re hearing “My dear, are you at work? I wanted to talk to you about something…”
Talk what ehnn?
Next thing you’re sending airtime, school fees, “small something for garri,” and contributing for a roof in the village. It’s the group chat version of the IMF, and guess who’s funding all the loans? Hint: It’s you, with the Naira that hasn’t even settled in your account properly.
Skincare, Haircare, and “Soft Life”? Sis, That’s Luxury
Omo, you have to face it o, you told yourself this month would be different, but Black Tax doesn’t recognize your “self-care era.” You made a list: skincare routine revamp, new hair products, maybe even a spa day. You deserve it nau, but as soon as the salary dropped, you started hearing things like, “Your younger brother’s final year project needs funding.” Essentials start looking optional. Before you could say “vitamin C serum,” your money had gone to charity.
The Bills That Weren’t Yours, But Still Found You
This is the true heartbreak, you tried to budget. You really did. But Black Tax is always ahead of you. That “miscellaneous” section you left open for emergency wardrobe change and unplanned shawarma? Yeah, it became top-up for someone who is chasing one urgent admission fee.
And God help you if you’re the firstborn. You’re not a child again, you’re everyone’s emergency contact.
You’re Not Alone, But It Still Hurts Sha Because it Keeps Humbling You Since 19-Kokorokoo
You talk to your friends and realize, everyone is going through it. Nobody’s salary lasts beyond one week. Everyone is tired. Everyone is broke together.
But even knowing that doesn’t make it easier. Because after sending ₦20k here, ₦15k there, you’ll sit on your bed and ask yourself:
“Who’s going to help me?”
Black Tax didn’t just drain your wallet; it drained your joy and plans.
Take and Console Yourself
Black Tax is real. And while we love our families and want to support them, can we also admit that it’s silently choking us?
So if your salary enters today and you’re broke by the weekend, remember: it’s not fraud, it’s family.
Just once, let that salary sit and chill in your account.
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