Society says you should have it all by 25 – 5 Nigerians share how society’s obsession with hitting major milestones has affected them; emotionally, mentally, and even financially
Esther, 25
The pressure to “have it all” is real, but I remind myself where I’m coming from. Not everyone posting wins online got there the same way, some have connections, others are faking it, and a few were just born lucky.
Me? I come from a regular Nigerian family, no plug, just prayers and perseverance. So I work hard, pray harder, and let God handle the rest. I’m not rushing the process, what’s mine will come, in His time.
Sandra, 25
I’m 25, not married, jobless after NYSC, and somehow society thinks I’m a failed project.
Once you collect that NYSC certificate, everybody suddenly wants to know “what’s next.”
You don’t have a man? You’re not working yet? Why are you breathing freely?
You’re expected to “support the family” because you’re a graduate now, but you’re still depending on people for basic things.
But I’ve realized something: not having it all at 25 doesn’t mean I’ve failed.
It means I’m human, trying, and moving at my own pace.
And that? That’s enough for now.
Daniel, 26
From the outside, I seem like I’ve got it together. Decent job, small small wins on Instagram, maybe even a smile. When I got my first salary, I didn’t even taste it. Before alert go land, family responsibilities started flying in. Even with 9- 5 and side hustle, the maths still isn’t mathing. I want soft life too, but Lagos no gree. I’m dodging buses and dodging depression at the same time. Still, I haven’t quit. I show up. I try. Because one day, this story, all of this will just be my backstory.
Ayo, 24
Being a firstborn son comes with a lot of responsibility that you can’t shy away from.
It is as if my whole identity is tied to the role I assume in my family, not gonna lie, sometimes I just want to run away but whenever I think of such an act, my mum and little brother keeps me going forward.
Cos they rely on me. Well… It’s gonna be fine at the end of the day, it’s just a phase as my girlfriend will always say.
Caleb, 28
I don’t feel my family members regards me as someone of any worth. I am the last child, graduated from the university three years ago, and still haven’t found my feet. Been doing one or two petty businesses to support my life, but even that is not seen as something worthwhile. Just because I still stay with family and once in a while contribute to the expenses in the house, my input is never regarded when decision making is carried out in the house. All my siblings at my age were either married or had moved out, but I’m till here doing mummy’s boy. I sha know this phase won’t be for long cos I’m steadily grinding
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