First of all, forget all what your teachers taught you in school! (Look left, look right, then look right again) I’ll hold your hands when I tell you that Lagos drivers don’t follow rules or instructions.
You might still have the rules of the traffic light in your head, ready to cross with reckless abandon when the light turns red, because normally all cars are expected to stop abi, but my dear think again, because those cars go jam you comot for road one time.
Just pray for divine intervention whenever you want to cross a Lagos Road.
Follow these steps and safeguard yourself while crossing Lagos roads:
Step 1:
Know That Traffic Lights Are Suggestions
Red means stop? Not here oo. In Lagos, red could mean speed up, green means go faster, and yellow? Yellow is just…vibes.
If you’re standing at a pedestrian crossing waiting for vehicles to stop, congratulations, you’re already late.
My dear enter road and cross oo.
Step 2:
Make Eye Contact (But Not for Too Long)
Staring down a Lagos driver is a psychological game.
A quick glance says “I dey cross o.” Too long and they’ll think you’re challenging them, and trust me, only one of you has a steering wheel and road rage.
So, look at the danfo driver small small, you can rub your hands together so he can have mercy on you.
Step 3:
Join a Crossing Convoy
Crossing alone is never a good option, wait till a group of equally nervous pedestrians gather, then move as one, like a confused flock of pigeons.
Cars are less likely to knock down ten people than one person, probably.
If there are no pedestrians on the road to cross with, then do the sign of the cross, say a little prayer committing your life into the hands of God, beg and signal any car to stop for you, and if they do, Glory be to God, if they don’t, the lord is your strength.
Step 4:
Channel Your Inner James Bond
You will run, you will pivot, you may even do a mini sprint across three lanes while dodging a keke, an okada, a truck and a guy selling gala.
You’ve automatically become a Nigerian Ninja warrior.
omo! Crossing roads in Lagos can be so hard.
Before you step out of the house, put on your inner James bond, because there’s no other way to survive crossing Lagos roads.
Step 5: Ignore Honking:
It’s the Lagos Love Language
Honking of horns doesn’t mean “I’m angry,” it means “I’m present.” If you jump every time someone honks, you’ll never make it home. Just vibe through the chaos.
No too disturb yourself, walk confidently.
In Lagos, crossing the road isn’t a task. It’s a full-body workout, a spiritual journey, and a test of street IQ.
if you survive it five times a week, you deserve a medal (or at least a chilled bottle of water and a standing ovation).
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