We all know men are amazing creatures, but Nigerian men? Ahhhh
They are a different breed entirely. Before the Sons of Adam come for me with “not all men,” calm down. I’m a lover of men. I promise. But we need to have a family meeting.
Because what is this thing Nigerian men are doing that they’re calling communication?
Dele will tell you he appreciates honesty and open communication.
“Tell me how you feel,” he’ll say with his full chest. But the moment you open your mouth to speak your mind, baba has already started regretting his life choices. In his mind, he’s shouting: “Why did I even ask this girl to talk? See her now in dragon mode, spitting fire and quoting text messages.”
We say “let’s talk about it, they say “you just want to stress me”?
You expressing yourself sounds like you’re trying to skin him alive.
Somehow, “I feel hurt when you…” sounds to them like “You’re a failure, Dele, and your ancestors are disappointed in you.”
Please, why is everything seen as an attack?
Before you know it, there comes the silence. Not peaceful silence, oh. This one comes with crossed arms, selective amnesia, and the classic “I’m fine.”
That’s it. That’s the whole response. Meanwhile, you’ve poured your heart out, explained your feelings with full PowerPoint presentation energy, and you don’t even get a “babe let’s talk,” or “I have heard your concerns.”
Chimo!!!
He starts pouting since you expressed yourself, he is walking around like someone that was denied food in a Yoruba party but when you ask what’s wrong, it’s back to the holy phrase: “I’m good.”
You’re not good, Dele. Your frown is now competing with NEPA’s darkness.
At this point, I don’t even know if they hate expressing their feelings or just think emotions are reserved for Gu Jun Pyo and his brothers.
And God help you if you’re the one who tries to initiate the convo. He’ll look at you, and the next thing he says is “You like wahala.” Brother, this is not a fight na, we’re having a conversation.
And don’t get me started on apologies. You will almost go crazy before you hear “I’m sorry.” Instead, they’ll send “have you eaten?” as if jollof rice can erase emotional damage.
But here’s the gist, you can’t build intimacy without communication. You can’t keep expecting women to talk for you, read your minds, apologize for your moods, and still ask if you want Amala or eba.
We’re not dragging you. We just want to feel heard without you turning into a shadow.
So I ask again: do Nigerian men really know how to communicate, or have they simply mastered the art of “silent treatment” while calling it maturity?
We love you, but oya, talk now. We no go bite.
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