There was once this couple that were almost inseparable. Always together, always laughing, always deep in each other’s space.
The type to FaceTime for hours, then still text after the call. Everything was chill, no fights, no drama. The only routine was that once in two months, during his work leave, he would travel to his parents’ house for vacation and his babe, as usual, always accompanies him to the airport, with tight hugs & goodbye kisses, and after he had departed, she would stay rooted on her phone waiting for his “I’ve landed” message, every time, without fail.
This time was no different. They were all smiles at the airport. No argument, no weird energy just love, hugs & kisses. But when he left and she reached out at the usual landing time… All she got was silence.
She called and got No response.
She texted and was aired.
One day turned to a week. Then a month. Then a whole year. She couldn’t reach him and got No explanation. When she finally did, all he said was, “I was scared. I didn’t know how to say we were done.” That was it.
A whole 3-years relationship ended like that. No closure, no goodbye, just vibes and ghosting.
Which brings us to the big question; ‘Is closure really necessary to move on…’
Let’s be honest sha, because sometimes when people say “I need closure,” what they actually mean is, “I want to text them one last time and see if they still care.” No judgment, we’ve all been there. Sitting in bed, staring at our phones, typing long emotional paragraphs nobody requested, praying the other person replies with something deep and meaningful. But the truth? Closure is nice, sure. Is it absolutely necessary to move on? Not really.
But on the other hand, Closure can be helpful when you genuinely don’t understand what went wrong especially if the breakup came out of nowhere like the couple above. Maybe you thought things were fine and suddenly they switched up. Maybe you just need clarity, not for drama, but for your peace of mind.
If both of you are emotionally mature enough to talk things through respectfully, great. That kind of closure can help you heal and walk away with your dignity. But let’s be honest, how often does that actually happen? Most people don’t give you a clean ending. They give you confusion, silence, or half-baked excuses that leave you more hurt than healed.
On the flip side (and my opinion though), you don’t really need closure when you already know the relationship wasn’t serving you. You don’t need it when deep down, you saw the red flags and just didn’t want to admit it. And you definitely don’t need it if the only thing keeping you up at night is a desperate attempt to reconnect not to heal, but to feel wanted one last time. Sometimes, the desire for closure is really just a clever excuse to hold on. One last call. One last hangout. One last fantasy that maybe, just maybe it could still work. But all it does is delay your healing and trap you in a cycle of false hope.
And let’s not act like ghosting doesn’t exist. Some people disappear without explanation and leave you wondering if they got hit by a bus. Spoiler alert: they didn’t. They just didn’t care enough to communicate. So now what? Are you going to stay stuck, staring at their last seen, waiting for a message that may never come? Or will you take control of your own healing?
If closure won’t come, create your own. Journal your thoughts. Write the message you’d send — then delete it. Talk to that friend who always tells you the truth. Revisit the red flags, not the cute moments. Remind yourself why it ended. You don’t need to send a dramatic text or make a scene. Just accept that some stories end without an explanation, and that’s okay. Cry if you have to. Block if you must. Then rest, regroup, get your life together, and glow like someone who just came out of emotional bootcamp.
So, do you need closure to move on? Not really. What you actually need is acceptance. You need to choose peace over chaos, self-respect over one more unread message. Closure is nice but peace of mind? That’s even better. And if they won’t give you closure, give it to yourself. Be your own plot twist. Rebrand, refocus, and rise.
