Let’s not deceive ourselves, abeg.
When it comes down to adult friendships, we all like to believe we have that one friendship that can withstand anything; long distance, adulthood, heartbreak, NEPA, and even Nigeria’s current economy.
But let me ask you this:
When last did you actually see your ride-or-die in real life?
No, like actually seeing them, not “viewed your status,” not “liked your post and typed ‘awwn.’” not “I just thought about you, LOL.”
I mean real-life physical gathering, you dey breathe their air, dey pass side-eye, dey drag food together, dey “yimu” for gist wey no funny.
Exactly! You don’t remember.
Friendships in adulthood are no longer “bestie or nothing.”
You and that big head that used to be inseparable, finishing each other’s sentences, dragging anyone draggable together. Now? The only thing you people are sharing is “abeg, reply when you can” and “I dey for you my gee.”
See ehn, distance is a thief. It will snatch your friend and still collect your peace of mind. Once upon a time, it was “Let’s hang out this weekend.”
Now your padi for life that used to stay 10-minute away from you don relocate go Canada, or dem change state.
You’ll message them, and three weeks later they’ll reply with “I saw this and forgot to respond . What’s up, dear?”
What’s up? We’re strangers now, that’s what’s up.
Now it’s:
“Let’s schedule a call.”
“What time works for you?”
“I’ll be free after 9PM.”
Lies. No one’s actually linking up.
You go dey form “time zone is hard,” “they’re still adjusting to life abroad,” meanwhile both of you have just mastered the art of silently ignoring each other and calling it growth.
The real wahala?
You miss them so much. But both of you are just emotionally tired, mentally drained, and every attempt to reconnect ends in one of you saying “You just disappeared o.”
Nobody told us that adulthood comes with soft breakup with your best friend, and the breakup has no reason. No “I’m angry.” No fight. No “you did this” or “I’m upset with you.”
There’s no drama at all.
You people just drifted off like Bluetooth speakers with poor connection.
And the truth is, you still love them. You’re just exhausted. They are too.
Because at this age?
Even keeping in touch is now part of your to-do list. And somehow, we’re all always tired.
So my dear, if you’ve read up to this point and still value that friendship, send that text, not a deep one, just a, “Omo I miss your madness. Let’s catch up, abeg.”
They might be thinking the same thing but don’t know how to reach out.
And if the vibe is gone, it’s okay. Life happens. People grow. Friendships change.
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