You must have heard the stories, seen the photos, and maybe even packed your white-on-white outfit already. But let’s be honest, NYSC Orientation Camp is not just exercise and “allawee.” There’s premium gist they didn’t tell you, and I are here to expose it (because too I have been there and experienced it first hand)
1. The Mammy Market Will Finish Your Allowee
They told you “camp food is free,” but they didn’t tell you you’d be eating at Mammy Market by Day 2. One plate of spaghetti and turkey = half of your allawee gone. Yet, you’ll go back. Every day.
2. “Light Out” Is a Suggestion, Not a Rule
They will blow the whistle at 10pm and shout “LIGHT OUT!” but you? You’ll still be charging your phone, gisting, and planning how to escape parade the next morning.
3. That Uniform Will Humble You
No matter how fresh you enter camp, the moment they hand you those oversized khaki trousers and that “one-size-fits-none” crested vest, your swagger will reduce. Even your crush won’t recognize you again.
4. Love in Camp Is Real (and Funny)
Give it one week and you will see couples doing “His & Hers” white tees, taking romantic walks to Mammy. Camp love is sweet… until one of them gets posted to Zamfara and the other to Lagos. Rest in peace to that ship.
5. Parade Ground = Gym + Torture
You will do frog jump, star jump, lion jump… jumps you didn’t even know existed. And just when you think it’s over, the soldier will shout “Double up! Double up!”
6. The Midnight Toilet Experience
If you have not used a pit toilet in the middle of the night with only your phone torchlight, have you truly served Nigeria? Camp toilet at 2am will humble even the strongest warrior.
7. Social Night Shenanigans
From the “Miss NYSC Camp” beauty pageant to the “Mr Macho” body flexing show, camp social nights are filled with drama, laughter, and enough secondhand embarrassment to last you the whole service year.
8. You’ll Make Friends for Life… and Enemies for 3 Weeks
Roommates will borrow your bucket, eat your biscuit, and snore like tractor, but somehow, you’ll miss them when it’s over.
NYSC Camp is a mad experience, full of struggle, fun, and stories you’ll gist your kids one day. If you’ve been, you definitely know what I am talking about. If you’re going soon, may the force be with you.
