Welcome to the world of online slay, where everything looks soft and shiny, but not everything is as it seems.They say soft life is the goal, but some people are funding their aesthetic with pure vibes, borrowed wigs, and half-paid vendor bills.
Let’s take a peek at some of the supposed “Instagram baddie” features served hot, Naija edition.
Where the math isn’t always mathing, but the slay? Always loud.
- The Wannabe Food Bloggers
Always posting gourmet pasta and mocktails but they only eat there when they beg brands for PR deals or share food with friends “for content.”
- Beauty Over Basic Needs
The phone screen is shattered, but the lash game is giving “imported mink.”
She can’t be caught not looking peng.
Forget glue-on lashes. It’s lash extensions or nothing, baby.
- “Can’t Date a Broke Man” Energy
Yet her bank app has been saying “₦0.00” since last Thursday.
She’s waiting for free Wi-Fi to post “soft life.”
- “God When?” But Has 20+ Unread Chats
Dreaming of soulmate while ghosting potential babes.
God go tire for the matchmaking.
- “I’m a Minimalist” But Owns 17 Wigs
None of which are below 20 inches.
And somehow, all were “gifts.”
- Aesthetic on Credit
Skincare routine? Check. Weekly spa content? Check.
But her last 3 vendors are still waiting for payment.
- Always Outside, Never Pays for Uber
Catch her at every groovy spot.
But when it’s time to split bill? “Can you send it to my friend?”
