She doesn't try to snoop through your phone.
So you're just disturbing yourself with that blueprint you call a password pattern.
When you run out of excuses to see your side chick, she makes up one for you.
Babe, your tyre is flat, take it to the vulganizer.
You're not as active in bed but she's blaming it on malaria.
You don't have malaria.
She's even trying to be best friends with your side chick.
Sometimes, she invites your side chick to dinner parties that she's throwing.
But you've noticed your side chick keeps getting into tiny accidents.
A bump here. A scratch there.
You've also noticed your malaria is getting worse.
But you don't have malaria.
You pick up a call from your side chick but she's incoherently talking about period blood.
You drop the call because women are dramatic, only to find blood running down your nose.
You immediately flash back to the dinner party as you fall to the ground but now your girlfriend is standing over you.
Cause Of Death: Malaria