Today we’re roasting people Born Jaunary 1st

1. Wait, out of 365 days & 12months, January 1st is when you decided to drop from the womb?

Wait, out of 365 days & 12months, January 1st is when you decided to drop from the womb? You’re a bombastic element.

2. But before we start, Happy womb escape

But before we start, Happy womb escape Make sure you get a handkerchief before you continue sliding

3. Now, Metaphorically, 1st of January is everyone’s birthday cos we all are legit thanking God for sparing our lives and not your life

Now, Metaphorically, 1st of January is everyone’s birthday cos we all are legit thanking God for sparing our lives and not your life And we’re toasting to that in our respective homes

4. While you’re supposed to be getting happy birthday text & calls, its happy new year messages ya getting

While you’re supposed to be getting happy birthday text & calls, its happy new year messages ya getting

5. Since Dec 20, you’ve subtly been posting pictures so people can use you as their DP. But No single soul has posted you. Instead you’re seeing Gratitude & Happy new year post

Since Dec 20, you’ve subtly been posting pictures so people can use you as their DP. But No single soul has posted you. Instead you’re seeing Gratitude & Happy new year post

6. When you’re eager to open people’s status, thinking they’ve posted your pictures. only to find out that it is “Happy new year” upon Happy new year

When you’re eager to open people’s status, thinking they’ve posted your pictures. only to find out that it is “Happy new year” upon Happy new year “Waste of data”

7. You invite people to come party with you and they tell you sorry, we’re celebrating new year

You invite people to come party with you and they tell you sorry, we’re celebrating new year You come over instead

8. Let’s not even deny the fact that your birthday just comes and goes like that. You’re not looking forward to your birthday after new year

Let’s not even deny the fact that your birthday just comes and goes like that. You’re not looking forward to your birthday after new year

9. No one would get you gifts cos they just spent a lot for Christmas & December shows. So they are trynna save up in the new year

No one would get you gifts cos they just spent a lot for Christmas & December shows. So they are trynna save up in the new year Not even a tissue paper as a gift on my birthday to wipe these tears

10. You make a pot full of rice expecting people to come and eat but no one turned up cos people are busy celebrating & eating New Year food at home

You make a pot full of rice expecting people to come and eat but no one turned up cos people are busy celebrating & eating New Year food at home So you and your Bestie are here eating your food alone. What are Besties for anyway?

11. Technically, study shows that you were conceived on Labor/Workers day. When mommy and daddy were off at work

Technically, study shows that you were conceived on Labor/Workers day. When mommy and daddy were off at work Truly an idle hand is the devils workshop

12. So when you get married & you’re in bed with your spouse on Workers day & things are getting heat up but you deny him...

So when you get married & you’re in bed with your spouse on Workers day & things are getting heat up but you deny him... “Cos I dont want a Happy new year child”

13. When your Man is not having any of that messed up excuses in bed...

When your Man is not having any of that messed up excuses in bed...

14. After this list, when you see your parents...

After this list, when you see your parents...

YOUR REACTION?


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