Because we care, we've brought you secrets to winning the election in different states.

1. In Lagos, we all know it only takes Olamide to enter the studio and record a banger for one gubernatorial candidate that has his posters everywhere.

In Lagos, we all know it only takes Olamide to enter the studio and record a banger for one gubernatorial candidate that has his posters everywhere.

One man, only him wore Agbada, Kaftan, Suit and even Jersey in his campaign posters. Kilode, shogun laye ni?

2. Ogun state - Just host a meet & greet session with Bobrisky for the people of Ogun. Lobatan! You have their votes already. They love Bobrisky baje baje. As a matter of fact, he is their national treasure .

Ogun state - Just host a meet & greet session with Bobrisky for the people of Ogun. Lobatan! You have their votes already. They love Bobrisky baje baje. As a matter of fact, he is their national treasure .

Oshey baddest

3. Let’s talk about the state that like to knack. Everywhere Hotel. Are we now gonna pretend as if condom isn’t the best thing to share to win their votes?

Let’s talk about the state that like to knack. Everywhere Hotel. Are we now gonna pretend as if condom isn’t the best thing to share to win their votes?

I won’t mention the state. Because that’s when people will start saying it's because one Benue girl broke Demo’s heart that’s why he’s beefing them.

4. Igbo Kwenu?!!! Let’s take a trip to Abia State. To win votes there, Just promise to ban all the foreign Nike and Adidas shoes being imported into Nigeria.

Igbo Kwenu?!!! Let’s take a trip to Abia State. To win votes there, Just promise to ban all the foreign Nike and Adidas shoes being imported into Nigeria.

I mean, why pay the double amount for Nike & Adidas shoes when you can have both in one shoe made in Aba? #ThinkAboutIt

5. Lowkey, the people of Edo State just want a gubernatorial candidate that will legalize their Airways so they can start flying in broad day light..

Lowkey, the people of Edo State just want a gubernatorial candidate that will legalize their Airways so they can start flying in broad day light..

Fun Fact: Edo people have been flying since 1900BC & no air crash has since been recorded

6. Kogi State people don’t have problem. This was how Dino won their votes. He turned Kogi state into a mega city with this overhead bridge and they re-elected him.

Kogi State people don’t have problem. This was how Dino won their votes. He turned Kogi state into a mega city with this overhead bridge and they re-elected him.

Having a lirru bit of acting skills is an added advantage 

7. Still on building, Imo people are lacking more statues. So promising them more is the only way to crawl into people’s heart in that state.

Still on building, Imo people are lacking more statues. So promising them more is the only way to crawl into people’s heart in that state.

Let’s not forget also that promising to pass a bill to inflate brideprice for their women too can win you votes

8. Meanwhile, herdsmen in Kano, Kaduna, Sokoto, Zamfara and all other northern states are busy mating their cows already so they can multiply & vote in the forthcoming elections.

Meanwhile, herdsmen in Kano, Kaduna, Sokoto, Zamfara and all other northern states are busy mating their cows already so they can multiply & vote in the forthcoming elections.

These ones don’t need any campaign promises. Na go they hear them no hear come

9. Kwara/ILorin - Everyone there is an Alfa. So just share Jalamia to win their votes

Kwara/ILorin - Everyone there is an Alfa. So just share Jalamia to win their votes

If you now have enough money, support it with iborun for their wives.

10. Oyo/Ibadan people just need an all expense paid trip to Amala sky bank. Das all

Oyo/Ibadan people just need an all expense paid trip to Amala sky bank. Das all

They don’t bite the hand that feeds them rather they vote with the hand they use to chop your Amala

11. Still on food, Calabar and Akwa Ibom wants their next governor to subsidize frozen dogs in the market

Still on food, Calabar and Akwa Ibom wants their next governor to subsidize frozen dogs in the market

Most especially Bulldog. You know it has more meat than other dogs

12. Ekiti people think we won’t remember them

Ekiti people think we won’t remember them

13. Ekiti people don’t know more than to collect Rice upandan. Just package one paint of rice for them and they will make sure you win by all means.

Ekiti people don’t know more than to collect Rice upandan. Just package one paint of rice for them and they will make sure you win by all means.

After all is you people that use to say “We RICE by lifting others”

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