1. I and my Jehovah witness girlfriend have been dating for about a year now
And I am about to propose to her and fix a wedding date
2. But the problem is we haven’t serviced each other yet all in the name of “No sex before marriage”
I have convinced her taya. But she still insisted on waiting till marriage
3. Every time she comes over, We will kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss for over an hour. She no dey taya.
She won’t allow me to touch bress. Kissi yi shaaa ni
4. Then the mumu girl will go home and be texting me “Baby, Today tho 😍😍”, “Baby, can’t wait to come over again”. Ontop ordinary kiss
5. Well, I decided to propose, so I thought I should give her a little hint so she can understand the essence of my worries
So I intentionally took her to a forest where she can see things that will give her a little insight before I propose
6. I took her to Tree no 1, I say baby what do you see?
She said baby I see a tree
7. Issokay, we went to Tree no 2, I say baby what do you see?
She said baby I see an uprooted tree lying helplessly
8. Aah! Ok. We moved to Tree no 3, baby what do you see?
She said baby I see ART and creativity. She even went on to sit down on it
9. Afi oju so, afi gbogbo ara so... Baby, you’re still seeing tree and creativity
You are sure you’re still seeing art? She said yes my love
10. See Yoruba say; “Ori to ba ma jeko, ko wa ninu aero plane, o ma je lati oju window”
Translation: Person wey go chop knock for head, even if he dey inside plane E go still chop am las las
11. So I went on to propose to her right there...
And she said yes
12. Fast forward to the wedding day, it was a whole success and she even went all crazy on me
We are legal now, so she’s loosening up gradually
13. Wedding done and dusted. It's getting dark already. I’ve been anticipating this time and my Okogbolo is ready for “wedding night” action
I promise I am not hard yet my people
14. We got home and immediately I brought out my machine gun. Even Monalisa couldn’t handle it
In my mind, I said “Wa fe ku laleyi”, “Ma te sojue laleyi”.
15. Then she said, baby, can you give me 1minute to go and urinate before we start?
16. Why not? I agreed and since then she did not return from the urination
My Jehovah witness wife has japa!!!
17. The painful thing now is, I called her parents on the phone and they said they will return all the eru iyawo and the bride price I paid
They said I cannot comman kill their daughter for them
18. My people are very angry and disappointed with her and her family. And since then my okogbolo has been vexinoinown.