Ranking Nigerian Party Foods: From Most Loved to Least Loved

No Nigerian party is complete without the food. Not just any food, I’m talking party food.
But to be honest, not all party foods are created equal and deserve the same level of respect. Some are the life of the party, others are just… there.
Here’s the official ranking:

1. Jollof Rice
   
   The Beyoncé of party foods.
   Smoky, spicy, and cooked in industrial-sized pots that somehow taste better than home versions.
   If it’s not party jollof, go home.
   Bonus points if it comes with fried plantain and moi-moi.

2. Small Chops
   
   Nothing unites Nigerians like a puff-puff, spring roll, samosa, combo. Fight breaks out when a table doesn’t get served
   The tray that causes stampedes. Puff puff, samosa, spring roll, and that peppered chicken, this combo unites Nigerians across tribes.
   If you miss the tray, you miss the joy. And yes, people have fought over it.

3. Fried Rice
   
   Good, but only if it’s not green and traumatizing.
   But when done right with shrimp, liver, and just the right veggies, it earns its spot.
   It pairs well with peppered chicken and a cold drink.

4. Peppered Meat
   
   That one bite that makes you forget you came to the party alone.
   Whether it’s goat meat, beef, or asun, it’s the spiciness that makes you sweat and smile.
   If it’s soft, spicy, and smoky, it’s maximum respect.
   But if it’s chewy, we riot.

5. Salad
   
   We don’t know why it’s here. Just decoration for the real food.
   Nobody asked for it, but it shows up anyway. Usually drowning in mayonnaise and mixed with baked beans for reasons unknown to the caterer.
6. Moi Moi
   
   If it’s soft, well-spiced, and wrapped in leaf, it’s got my respect.
   If it’s hard, dry, or comes in plastic, it’s punishment disguised as food.

7. Swallow
   
   For the owambe warriors only. Elite in the right setting (think Ibadan wedding), but risky for fine clothes, gele, and acrylic nails.
   If you see egusi and amala at a party, just know the host is not playing.

8. Yam Porridge
   
   Soft yam chunks swimming in a rich, peppery sauce with palm oil, crayfish, and beef. It’s not flashy, but it’s soul food.
   When it shows up at a party, people act surprised, then clean the plate.

Las las
If your party food ranks below “respectable,” don’t bother with the live band. Just send us takeaway and save everyone the stress.

Read more interesting writeups here!

Advertisements