Every December, Nigeria welcomes a special group of visitors, the IJGBs (I Just Got Backs). They don’t need to announce themselves; their aura, accent, and fashion already do the job. From how they greet to how they look at our NEPA situation, here are the telltale signs that someone just landed from “the abroad.”
The Accent That Refuses to Rest
You’ll hear it before you see them. The IJGB accent is louder than the plane that brought them back. One week in Lagos, and it’s still “Can I get water, please?” instead of “Abeg pass pure water.”
Their Wardrobe Screams ‘Airport Runway’
Designer fits in 35-degree weather. You’ll see them at a party in full winter jacket, sweating but refusing to remove it because “it’s giving.”
Every Conversation Starts With ‘When I Was in London…’
They’ll find a way to connect any topic to their life abroad, whether it’s fuel scarcity or traffic. “Ah, this would never happen in the UK,” they’ll say while fanning themselves with a passport wallet.
They Film Everything
From street hawkers to jollof rice, nothing escapes their camera lens. Expect captions like “Omg, this is mad!” or “Nigeria is wild, bro.”
They Still Call It ‘Uber’
Bolt? Never heard of her. To them, every ride-hailing app is Uber. And when they see the driver’s car, they’ll whisper, “Wait, this is the Uber?”
They Don’t Know How to Haggle
They’ll pay whatever price they’re told at the market. Once they hear “It’s 50k,” they reply, “That’s not bad,” while the trader thanks God for their life.
Lagos Heat Will Always Shock Them
The way they gasp when NEPA takes light is priceless. “Wait, there’s no backup generator?” Welcome home, dear.
They Use Slang Like It’s 2017
Still saying “Peng,” “Allow it,” and “Mad ting.” Lagos people have moved on, but they’re stuck in an old version of the UK.
They Go to Every Beach, Brunch, and Concert
They land today, and tomorrow they’re at five different events. If there’s a party, they’ll find it — it’s their own way of connecting with “the culture.”
They’re Always Converting Prices to Pounds
Order a plate of food and hear, “Ah, that’s just like £3.50.” Meanwhile, that “£3.50” could feed someone for two days in Lagos.
At the end of the day, we love our IJGBs. They bring energy, money, and a bit of drama every December. Lagos wouldn’t be the same without them, but please, once you’ve been around for a week, drop the accent and stop saying “literally.”
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