They had been together for over a year, and from the outside, everything seemed picture-perfect. Cute pictures on Instagram, regular dinner dates, even matching Ankara outfits on special occasions. But behind the scenes, things were tense. Arguments were becoming more frequent, and the emotional gap between them kept growing.
She felt ignored, like he was physically present but emotionally distant. All she wanted was more of his time: simple things like talking without distractions, going on quiet dates, or just being around each other without phones in the way.
Meanwhile, he was doing his best, constantly buying her thoughtful gifts, paying for her nails, sending flowers, and even surprising her with that wig she mentioned once in passing.
He thought he was doing everything right. She, on the other hand, felt like he was trying to “buy” her attention instead of actually giving it.
One evening, after yet another silent car ride home, they had a proper conversation. Not an argument, just two people being honest. She explained that while the gifts were lovely, they didn’t mean much without his presence. He was shocked. He had no idea she felt that way.
From that point on, they made an effort to meet each other halfway. He started prioritizing Quality Time from quiet walks in the estate to Sunday movie marathons. She, in turn, began showing more appreciation for his Gifts, even picking up small tokens for him too.
Over time, they began incorporating more layers into how they showed love…Through affirming words, physical affection, and small acts of service. That simple shift in understanding saved their relationship.
The idea of “love languages” may sound cliché, but the truth is, most relationship issues stem from people giving love in ways their partner doesn’t truly recognize. Understanding how your partner receives love, and how you express it, can make the difference between constantly feeling misunderstood and being deeply connected.
From this couple finally finding what works for their relationship, here are the 5 most popular love languages and why they should have a place in your relationship:
1. Words of Affirmation
Some people need to hear it, literally. Compliments, kind words, encouragement, and even random “I am proud of you” texts can be fuel for emotional connection.
Overall, words build confidence and security in a relationship. They create emotional warmth, especially when paired with other love languages like acts of service or quality time.
2. Acts of Service
This love language is all about doing things that ease your partner’s burden…Whether that’s cooking, helping them prepare for a presentation, or even charging their phone before bed.
You know that, actions speak louder than words for some people, and this is why this love language matters. Little thoughtful gestures can carry more weight than the most expensive gifts.
3. Receiving Gifts
It’s not about being materialistic. For people who resonate with this love language, it’s the thought behind the gift that matters most. A simple item, even a meat pie and malt on a stressful day, can mean the world.
Subsequently, this matters for many reason and but this is top on the list… Gifts are a physical symbol of love. When combined with Words of Affirmation, they tell your partner, “I see you, I thought of you, and you matter to me.”
4. Quality Time
Uninterrupted, undistracted time together is gold. Whether it’s strolling through Lekki Conservation Centre or just gisting over palm wine and pepper soup, it’s about being fully present.
You want to know why this might be the glue that holds your relationship together? It’s simply because it builds closeness (like real closeness). It strengthens emotional bonds and often allows space for deeper conversations, laughter, and vulnerability.
5. Physical Touch
This goes beyond sex. Holding hands, cuddling, forehead kisses, or even a gentle touch on the arm while talking can make your partner feel seen and secure.
Why it matters, you ask!? Touch fosters connection and comfort. It communicates affection in a way that words sometimes can’t.
Without mincing words, all Five love languages are important and can be employed interchangeably
Even if you and your partner have different dominant love languages, it’s still important to make space for all five.
They each bring something unique to the table, and together, they create a fuller, healthier relationship.
Significantly, love isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some days, a hug might be what speaks the loudest. Other times, doing the dishes without being asked, might say “I love you” better than anything else.
When both partners are intentional about understanding and speaking each other’s love languages, it creates a rhythm that makes the relationship feel more natural, less stressful, and deeply rewarding.
