Because no Nigerian party is complete until you have questioned your invite, waited for jollof, and survived the drama
- Reception Hall Isn’t Ready — 2 Hours After Start Time
Invitation says 12PM. You leave Ojota for Lekki, calculating Lagos traffic like a true owambe warrior, you land by 2PM, feeling proud. But to your greatest surprise, chairs are still being arranged, caterers just pulled up, and the DJ? Nowhere to be found. As how na?!
- The Hunt for Small Chops Begins
You saw them bring puff-puff for Table 2. You blinked, and they disappeared escorted by snobbish servers you’ve been trying (and failing) to make eye contact with. The same people you wouldn’t even notice on a normal day.
- Aso-Ebi Drama
You’re not wearing the Aso-Ebi, so Aunty Bisola suddenly develops selective sight. You’re invisible; no rice, no meat, no service. Just presence and fabric discrimination. Then when the meat finally finished, she asked you, “Will you manage ponmo with your rice?” God abegggg.
4. DJ Playing Rubbish Until the Party Is Almost Over
You suffered through sleep-inducing songs and mashups so bad, you started to wonder if the DJ was a family member doing volunteer work. Now he wants to play the latest banging hip-hop when everyone is packing chairs? Uncle, where was this energy before?
- You Dress to Slay, But They Only Took One Photo of You
You’re draped in your finery (Met Gala no do reach you), rocking that ‘just-imported’ Lagos Island brocade the vendor swore was exclusive. You came to feed people’s eyes, serve looks, and steal the spotlight… and all you have to show for it is one blurry photo. Maybe two, if you begged. Shame.
