(For People That Actually Like Their Partner)
Valentine’s Day is here again!
Time for the annual parade of teddy bears that will collect dust, mugs that say “Best Girlfriend Ever” (for three different girlfriends), and chocolates that will finish in two hours.
Romance is beautiful, yes.
But do you know what is even more romantic?
Check out these Valentine gift ideas that won’t just look good but will make sense in real life.
1. A Bag of Rice
Laugh if you want.
But hmmm if you want me to “awwn” for you, you had better get me 50kg of rice.
Cos why would I be behaving like a cute patootie if I’m dying of hunger in this Tinubu economy.
2. Fuel
You see ehnn, you don’t have to do too much with this.
Just fill up a 15-20 litre keg and drop it like, “Happy Valentine.”
No long speech. No dramatic packaging.
That’s the gift.
3. Powerbank (A Serious One Please)
And when I say powerbank, I don’t mean that small one that charges the phone once and dies with you.
I mean a proper laptop powerbank.
Something solid. Something dependable.
Because when NEPA decides to test my emotional strength, I need backup.
4. A Half Plot of Land
Listen… hear me out.
Flowers will die.
Chocolate will finish.
But land? Land appreciates.
Romance is temporary. Real estate is forever.
5. A Small Generator
If you truly love me, fight NEPA on my behalf.
Imagine surprising someone with “I got you backup power.”
You’re not just a lover. You’re a solution.
6. Groceries
Not snacks ooo. Groceries.
Oil. Tomatoes. Spices. Real food.
You’ll be remembered every time I cook.
7. Rent Contribution
You want to prove seriousness?
Say, “I added small to your rent.”
Forget “Will you be my Valentine?”
You’ll be promoted to “Will you marry me?”
This is not to cancel romance.
Because love is sweet.
But you see sense??? Sense is sweeter.
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Just take his life at this point, and you madam, what are you bringing to the table? Hope it’s not singlet and boxers that you’ll eventually start wearing too?