AI don turn therapist o. In this economy where real therapy costs like 40k per session, Nigerians have discovered a new plug for all their emotional needs, ChatGPT.
From heartbreak to HOD wahala, this AI has heard things even best friends haven’t. Let’s take you through 7 hilarious and very Nigerian ways people are turning ChatGPT into their personal therapist.
- Heartbreak Healer
One babe literally ran to ChatGPT after her man ghosted her for two weeks then showed up with “hey you.”
She asked ChatGPT to help her write a classy but savage response.
Result?
“Hi. I’ve been doing great; emotionally, spiritually, and romantically. Hope your silence was therapeutic.”
AI said drop mic and exit stage left.
2.Toxic Boss Wahala
A frustrated 9-5er used ChatGPT to draft an email that says “you’re mad” without actually saying it.
Prompt: “Please help me write a professional email to my boss who keeps assigning last-minute tasks at 4:59pm.”
AI came through with:
“I’d appreciate clearer timelines going forward so I can manage deliverables effectively.”
Translation: Oga rest abeg.
- Village People Alert
Yes o, someone legit asked ChatGPT: “What does it mean if I keep dreaming about snakes and old women chasing me?”
ChatGPT: “It could be symbolic of fear, transformation, or deep-seated anxieties.”
Them: “So spiritual attack confirmed. Thank you.”
- “He ghosted me” Chronicles
You know that moment when someone stops texting and reappears like nothing happened?
Nigerians are now outsourcing the reply to ChatGPT:
“Sorry, I don’t entertain part-time communicators. This is not NYSC.”
One user even added “ChatGPT, make it sound cold but classy.”
And AI delivered.
- AI as Wingman
Some brothers no dey try again. Instead of thinking game, they’re asking AI:
“How do I toast a babe on Instagram without sounding like every other Lagos boy?”
ChatGPT:
“Hi. I don’t usually do this, but your energy stood out to me raw and refreshing. Would love to connect.”
Lagos boy 2.0 activated.
- Therapist We Can Actually Afford
Therapy in Lagos? Minimum 30k per session.
ChatGPT? Free and available 24/7.
People now start convos with:
“Hi ChatGPT, I feel overwhelmed and unmotivated. Please help.”
AI replies with breathing tips, self-care routines, and motivational talk.
Lowkey, it actually helps.
- Nigerian Parents vs AI
“ChatGPT, how do I convince my mum to let me attend a beach hangout without suspecting bad gang?”
AI:
“Explain the event’s structure, emphasize safety measures, and reassure her it’s with trusted friends.”
That’s why you’ll now hear things like:
“Mummy, I already printed the itinerary, the cab driver’s plate number is here, and Uche’s mum will be there too.”
AI has taught them tactics.
Nigerians are not smiling. When life starts to show shege, we run to the same place we ask for jollof recipes and CV help ChatGPT.
