Situationships have become one of the biggest relationship conversations online, and honestly, it is not difficult to see why.
Because what exactly are we doing?
You are talking every day. You are spending time together. You know each other’s friends. You are calling each other pet names. You are practically behaving like a couple.
But the moment one person asks, “So what are we?”, suddenly everybody becomes a philosopher.
“Why are you putting labels on things?”
“Who said we were dating?”
“Why did you assume?”
Egbami.
So, we asked five people to share their experiences with situationships, and some of them are still trying to understand what exactly they were doing.
Chinedu, 22
Mehnnn, whenever I hear “situationship,” I should be at the front of the class.
I met this girl and the vibes were good. I genuinely used to let her come over to my house to work because she worked for an international company. This was a babe I used to call my babe in front of my friends.
Then, one day, she just stopped coming over.
I was wondering what had happened, but I dropped my pride and asked her why.
You will not believe what this babe told me.
She said she had started seeing someone new and didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable about her coming to my place.
I asked her if she had even considered how I felt.
She said we weren’t dating and I should move on.
I don learn lesson. No more assumptions again.
Favour, 28
Hmmm. Sometimes, I can’t even believe I spent four good years with one useless guy.
Baba used to call me his babe and even his friends knew me. I didn’t lack anything with this guy. I mean, nothing at all.
I was in university, and this guy would drive with his friends to come and see me in school. And these visitations were never empty-handed.
I was legitimately flexing in school.
After graduation, I asked when we would start planning for marriage, and to my shock, he asked me why I assumed he wanted to marry me.
Egbami ke!!!
So what were we doing for four years?
Gbenga, 37
I used to hear about situationships and always said such a thing could never happen to me. I am mature and already know what I want. This is not the age to start playing games.
Until I met this young lady.
Initially, I was worried about the age gap because she was 23, but she was very mature and assured me it wasn’t a problem.
I told her I was looking forward to marriage because I wasn’t getting any younger.
We were going steadily until I brought up the subject of her introducing me to her parents.
Na there kasala burst.
My babe told me she thought I was joking.
Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
As how nau?
She asked why I would force marriage on her when I had never even asked her to be my girlfriend, and I was already jumping into marriage.
I haven’t recovered from it, aswear.
At this point, I’m considering my mum’s offer to introduce me to her friends’ children.
Emem, 40
Being single at my age isn’t for the weak. I have been badgered by relatives and friends alike.
I met him during a singles hangout my church organises for unmarried people, and we immediately clicked.
Even when I found out that he was a single father of three children with three different mothers, it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t going to be pressured to have children for him.
Things were going well, but he never officially asked me to be his partner. He just used words of endearment to confuse me.
That is the part that still vexes me.
He was always the first to send “Good morning” and “Good night” texts.
When I realised I was already losing my guard, I had to ask him what we were.
He was genuinely confused because he thought marriage wasn’t on my agenda and that I was comfortable with how things were between us.
I had to end whatever it was we were doing before I went crazy.
Hauwa, 25
For me, I was never a saint to begin with.
I’ve always had friends-with-benefits arrangements, and they worked well for me. The guys I got involved with knew we were there to have a good time. It wasn’t permanent.
There were no check-ins or lovey-dovey nonsense.
Until this son of Adam decided to change the flow.
After we started seeing each other, everything was supposed to be casual. But then he started calling me “babe” and “my love.”
I was confused because, excuse me, this was supposed to be a simple arrangement.
He told me he wasn’t playing games with me.
Strong girl like me fell in love and stopped seeing other guys because I wanted to be committed to him.
What a mumu I was.
One year into my blissful delulu, he told me he liked someone else and they had started thinking about getting serious.
He wanted to settle his affairs with me because I was a “good friend.”
Ahhhhh.
Me?
Good friend?
I don’t blame him sha, but it won’t be well with him.
So, What Were We?
And there you have it.
Five people. Five different situationships. One common question:
What exactly were we doing?
Maybe the biggest problem with situationships is not even that they don’t have labels. Maybe it’s that two people can be living completely different stories while standing in the same relationship.
One person is thinking, “This is going somewhere.”
The other person is thinking, “We’re just enjoying the vibes.”
And somehow, both people are shocked when the truth finally comes out.
So, before you start calling someone “my person,” meeting their friends, planning your future and sending good morning texts every day, perhaps ask the question.
“So, what are we?”
Because sometimes, the person you think is your partner is somewhere telling their friends, “We’re just chilling.”
Read more interesting writeups here!
0 Comments