8 People Share the Craziest Things They Did to Get an Apartment in Lagos

Because in this Lagos, it’s not just house hunting… it’s survival + strategy + small madness.

With the way these Lagos agents and house owners are moving, you also have to be at the top of their game mehnn. You will play it well.

1. “I Lied That I Was Married” – Faith, 29

I had to drag my male friend to pretend to be my “husband who works abroad.”

Because apparently, being single is now a red flag.

Every house I was shown, they turned me down, they all wanted a married person as per being single is promiscuous. The landlord was smiling… if only he knew I was a single pringle.

2. “I Changed My Profession” – Chima, 24

I work remotely for a tech company abroad, living my best life, cos not every young man my age has the opportunity to work from their comfort space.

Agent says the owners want a “serious 9–5 person.”

As how nauuu???

I realized that I had to play smart about it, because getting my own apartment was my main priority.

Now I wear a suit and go to a random eatery just to look employed.

3. “I Changed My Tribe” – Maria, 32

I’m Edo, but Lagos bred, and I can speak Yoruba fluently.

When I searched everywhere, they all wanted a Yoruba tenant. In this Lagos that is a land for everybody, I just weak.

I became Yoruba instantly. There was no time to waste at all. I even changed my name from “Mary” to “Maria.”

I don’t pay my rent from my bank account, I have a friend who does it for me.

4. “I Bypassed the Agent” – Uwem, 47

After 25 years in Lagos, you think I don’t know their tricks?

Me ke! I’ve lived in over 5 houses and I know how these hungry people play.

Inspection fee here, agreement fee there, anything to collect money that they didn’t work for.

Oga shift!!

I looked up the house address that was sent to me and I traced the landlord myself, secured the house and moved in. There’s no time to dull.

If you like, call it wickedness. I call it wisdom.

5. “I Dated My Landlord’s Son” – Amaka, 25

Was it ever love? Neverrrr!

I certainly don’t love that man with his big head.

My rent was about to expire and my organization was undergoing restructuring, I had to be very strategic. 

I’ve always noticed the way he stared at me, that’s how I aligned with my landlord’s son.

I won’t lie, that relationship had direction.

Now I don’t even pay rent, baba thinks he has seen wife. As per wetin?

I won’t call out his delulu yet until I can move out. Call it what you want. I call it strategy.

6. “I Lied About Their Church” – Segun, 22

First day I entered the compound, see church flyers everywhere. They had fliers on their car, the main gate and even the entrance to the apartment.

As a sharp guy that I am, I told them I attend the same church, just a different branch.

They were so happy that a church member will be moving in, but what I didn’t sign up for was that I’d be convinced to stop attending the parish I told them about and be made to attend theirs.

Now I’m a worker in the church, playing drums every Sunday, there’s no escape until I pack out.

7. “I Changed My Look” – Joseph, 31

I love my dreads. That’s my identity. I’m someone who believes that I express myself better with my hair.

But Lagos showed me pepper after I relocated.

The landlady saw me and already concluded that I was a Yahoo boy.

I tried convincing her, but mama no wan gree for me. I went home, cut everything and went to show myself to her.

A roof over my head is more important.

8. “I Added a Fake Accent” – Tobi, 30

When I went for inspection, I noticed the owners only wanted ajebo tenant.

The caretaker was just putting on fake airs and kept on mentioning that they had a criteria for the kind of tenants the owners wanted.

Egbami ke! On top mini flat in Ojota!

It’s not like I was renting an apartment in Ikoyi, at least I would have tried to understand the classism.

As a sharp guy, I immediately packaged myself and changed my accent.

They sha gave me the house, but I’m scared of the day my h-factor slips out. That day should sha not be very soon.

Securing an apartment in Lagos is not for the weak and it is not by money alone, because if you’re not smart, you might stay homeless.

Read more interesting writeups here!

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