Eniola Lasaki
As a child, it’s normal to get attracted to doing very silly and dumb things, but I promise you, nothing will ever prepare you for the responses you are about to read.
Semiloore, 22
“Wrote our surname on my mum’s car with a nail. Even worse, I misspelled it. (For the longest time, I didn’t know which came first – the L or the N). Imagine driving around in “The Adekulne’s car” and trying not to explain that not only is your son an àpà, he’s also an olodo”
Tiara, 25
“Getting expelled from creche for beating other babies, fighting a goat till i dislocated my shoulder, drinking a bottle of Phenergan and sleeping for 3 days, putting my hand in a pot of hot water to bring out the egg my mum was boiling for me, using my mum’s inhaler as perfume.”
Damola, 30
“My brother & I liked to recreate the Mufasa & Scar scene so we did it in the well in our house in Edo. I was dangling from the inside of the well as per Mufasa, till I fell in. Thankfully, it wasn’t empty. I got out drenched & shivering & my dad just kept saying “Actor & Boss”
Janet, 34
“One time I ate our dog food cos I wanted to know what it tasted like since it smelled good, my stomach started aching after so I thought I was going to become a dog too. That’s how I went to join our dog in the cage so that I wouldn’t bite my mummy after I turned.”
Kazim, 20
“Drank disinfectant and clowned my mum hours later for panicking. Was caught playing with a live snake. Went to a beggar I gave money earlier to collect my money back when I did the maths and realized I was going to trek back home from school.”
Tope, 29
“I was 10 Thieves cornered us and commanded everyone to lie down I refused and started speaking in tongues at gunpoint Pastor Chris Oyakhilome convinced me that nothing can harm me. Not even bullet. I was so certain. My mum dey one side dey burst tears. She think say I don go…”
Kolade, 35
“My uncle used to work for the Punch as a photographer I stole fish from the pot and my dad called my uncle to come. They made me hold the fish and my uncle just dey use flash dey deceive me say e dey snap They said I’d be on the front page on Monday and everyone will know I’m a thief. I cry sotay I slept off. Till this day I no dey comot meat from pot.”
Lydia, 23
“I stole my mum’s money then went to school and bought story books for everyone in my class, shared it to them, out of curiosity,the teacher called my mum and inquired, ,I sha knew when I got home, the only thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital the next day”
Okon, 29
“Grandma had goats. One of the goats strayed and fell into a pretty deep gutter house away. This was before Fashola started covering gutters along main roads. I jumped into the gutter to push the goat out but failed. We were both crying until a passerby heard both of us.”
Tunmise, 25
“I ran away from home because I thought some wealthy family will see me, adopt me and make me their son. I slept in the streets, not friendly at all. Hunger slapped me to another dimension. Omo, I thank God my neighbor saw me and took me home. I was ready for the beating”
Mimi, 23
“There was a grave at our then rented house with an opening on the top due to the concrete being old. I forced myself between the crack while playing hide and seek with my mate and slept off. Woke up and realize I couldn’t get out then started screaming”
Sola, 30
“I took money from my dad’s briefcase went out and enjoyed myself with the money, and he found out. On my way back home, I plucked a strand of hair from my eyelashes. Then I put it in the middle of my head, hoping my father would forget. I got home and saw my dad sitting down and watching the news. I greeted him and he responded very fine. Chei, I really was one of the dumbest
He didn’t say or ask me anything. In my mind, what I did, worked. Only for my father to wait till 2am in the midnight when I was fast asleep and gave me the beating of my entire life”
Chioma, 28
“I was dumb as a child. My mum told me that if any man touches me I will get pregnant. One guy in school kissed my hand that day. 2 days later I started vomiting. I told my friends and they told me not to worry, after school we will go to his house and make sure he takes responsibility for his baby”
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