Being the firstborn in a Nigerian family is not for the weak. You were born as a child, but somewhere along the line, you became an assistant parent, family accountant, emergency contact, personal adviser, and sometimes the unofficial family ATM.
Nobody really prepares you for it. One minute you’re enjoying your childhood, and the next, you’re being told to set a good example for your younger siblings.
You have to be responsible, mature, understanding and somehow know what to do in every situation. Even when you’re struggling with your own life, there’s an unspoken expectation that you should have everything under control.
And the funny thing? Nobody gave you an employment letter for this position.
Here are some reasons being the firstborn in a Nigerian family feels like a full-time job.
You’re Expected to Be the Second Parent
As the firstborn, you’re often expected to help raise your younger siblings. You have to correct them, guide them, monitor their behaviour and sometimes answer for their mistakes.
If they do something wrong, you might be asked why you weren’t watching them. If they refuse to listen, you’re expected to find a way to make them behave.
Meanwhile, you’re also trying to figure out your own life. How are you supposed to have all the answers when you’re still learning yourself?
Your Money Is Somehow Family Money
The moment you start earning, congratulations! You’ve officially joined the family financial department.
There’s school fees to consider, groceries to buy, urgent transfers to make and unexpected expenses that always seem to arrive when your account balance is already looking suspicious.
Of course, helping family isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But sometimes, the expectation can become overwhelming, especially when you’re still trying to establish yourself financially.
Black tax will be chasing you and you can’t run away.
You want to save, invest and enjoy your money, but somehow there’s always another family expense waiting.
You’re Expected to Have Your Life Together First
As the firstborn, your decisions are often treated like examples for everyone else.
You’re expected to make the right career choices, behave responsibly, make your parents proud and avoid mistakes that could influence your younger siblings.
Even when you make a mistake, it can feel like you’ve disappointed the entire family.
But firstborns are also human beings. They’re allowed to make mistakes, change their minds, struggle and figure things out at their own pace.
Hold This One
Being the firstborn comes with a lot of love, responsibility and sometimes expectations that can feel impossible to meet.
You want to be there for your family, support your siblings and make your parents proud, but you also have a life of your own to build.
Perhaps families need to remember that being the first child doesn’t automatically make someone capable of carrying everyone’s responsibilities.
Firstborns, what’s the one responsibility your family gave you that nobody warned you about? Because some of you are doing unpaid family management work.
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