You went to school for five years, maybe six, if you include the generous ASUU breaks that were given for free. As per serious student wey you be, relationship no concern you. It was books, fellowship, and your beloved bed. And if we’re being honest, the bed topped the list because sleep was your first love.
When Love Was Not a Priority
You avoided relationships back then because of that age-old slang: “relationship wey no go pass maingate,” You weren’t about to waste premium emotions on a campus crush that would become just another episode in your NYSC gist.
But now, you’re done with school. You’re ready to “find love”, whatever that means in this economy. You think you’re ready to date, but the dating pool? It’s looking like something NEPA forgot to fix.
You Think You Have Money, Until She Says You Don’t
As the sharp guy you claim to be, you’re dropping lines you thought were smooth, but reality is replying to you with “delulu is not the solulu.”
You never saw yourself as a brokie, you have a side hustle, your account balance is alive (if not thriving), and you have some change to spare. But then one daughter of Eve hits you with “You can’t afford me.” She’s priced herself like she’s on a shelf in a luxury aisle, and you’re there asking, “Is it me you’re negotiating with or Central Bank?” Oh chim!
Older Men, Leave Us Alone
Meanwhile, you, young babe, fresh out of school, glowing like Sheabutter is not attracting the sweet Gen Z boys of your dreams. Instead, you’re attracting 30 plus daddies who suddenly want to feel young again and think your youth is the solution. As how now??
You dey confuse cos “why are they not going for ladies in the same age bracket as themselves???”
Why you?
You’re still finding your feet, yet they want you to help them walk back their age.
So Where Exactly Is This Love That People Are Doing?
How will you now find your significant other bayi?
It’s not like you’re anti-love o.
You’ve been dreaming of doing lovey-dovey, sending “I miss you” texts, even buying matching crocs, but this dating game is draining your mental battery. With the way things are going, shey you’ll experience the feeling of having the butterflies that one experiences when they are in love?
Cos it’s not looking like it’s going to be anytime soon.
You ask yourself: “Will I ever experience love that doesn’t feel like emotional labour?”
Because at this rate, dating should come with small health insurance and monthly therapy vouchers.
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