If Game of Thrones Houses Were Nigerian Economic Realities

Game of Thrones gave us powerful families, dramatic mottos and people who took their family names very seriously, and when I say serious, I mean SERIOUS.

Cos dem no really get tribe

But what if these houses were Nigerian?

Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, full drama

Because imagine being a Lannister and owing PalmPay money.

Or being a Greyjoy and proudly saying, “What is dead may never die,” when even your ancestors are wondering what exactly you mean.

So, let’s take some of the most popular houses in Westeros and give their mottos a proper Nigerian economic reality check.

Welcome to Westeros: Nigerian Economic Realities Edition.

1. House Lannister – “A Lannister Always Pays His Debts”

Imagine owing PalmPay money and you are from House Lannister.

Omo, that mantra no apply to you again.

You cannot be carrying the family name with pride while PalmPay is sending you reminders every morning.

“A Lannister always pays his debts.”

You: “God will provide.”

Your ancestors are disappointed.

2. House Greyjoy – “What Is Dead May Never Die”

All these ones are demonic spirits because what kind of yeye mantra is this?

How are you calling yourself a living dead?

Even your ancestors never claimed that one.

Imagine being a Greyjoy and someone asks how life is going.

You: “What is dead may never die.”

Sir, please go and rest.

You are alive. You are breathing. You are just broke. There is a difference.

3. House Stark – “Winter Is Coming”

Nigerians don’t need winter to know fear.

The moment somebody says:

“Fuel price will increase from tomorrow.”

That’s our winter.

Salary is still the same.

Transport has increased.

Food prices are doing press-ups.

And your landlord has started sending messages that begin with:

“Dear tenant…”

Winter is not coming.

Sapa is already here.

4. House Tyrell – “Growing Strong”

House Tyrell is every Nigerian small business owner who posts:

“We move regardless.”

Meanwhile, the business account has had three customers since January.

But they will still post:

“Big things coming soon.”

And you will see them at every networking event saying:

“We are scaling.”

Scaling what, please?

But honestly, we love their spirit.

Because even when the business is surviving on prayer, one customer and a WhatsApp status, the brand is still growing strong.

5. House Targaryen – “Fire and Blood”

House Targaryen is every Nigerian who has seen the price of fuel and said:

“At this point, let the fire burn everything.”

Fuel price has gone up.

Transport has gone up.

Food has gone up.

Your salary is still standing in the same spot like it has sworn an oath to poverty.

Fire and Blood?

In Nigeria, it’s Fuel and Transport.

You don’t conquer the system.

You simply enter the keke, hear the price and whisper:

“Anything you see, take me there.”

Which Game of Thrones house are you? 

And please, don’t tell me House Lannister if you are owing PalmPay.

A Lannister always pays his debts.

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