Eniola Lasaki
It is not only those who have committed a crime and have been found guilty that should go to jail. There is a set of individuals who should also be locked up with immediate alacrity.
No, they aren’t thieves, neither are they kidnappers. Their offenses are unconventional and you’ll find out why once you dive in…
1. Those who peep into your phone on Danfo buses
I only have one question for you all. What’s the color of your problem? Could it be ment or Malaria?
2. Those who derive satisfaction from watching pimple popping
Like, how weird can you get?
3. Those who enjoy Semo
I know you’d come for me over Semo slandering but pardon me, I still don’t understand your genetic makeup.
4. Those who are in a relationship but still flirt with their exes
I thought I would ask if everything is alright with you. And remind you that karma will locate you soon.
5. Those who stop talking to you without a reason
Does anything mess up one’s mental health as much as this?
6. People who spit about carelessly
Tell me, are you a serpent? If not, what makes you think it’s okay to spread your saliva up and down?
7. People who chew loudly
Are you a ruminant? If not, why do you think it’s okay to chew like a goat? Why? Why?? Why???
8. If you go to the club without the intention of buying your own booze
Well, except you go as a group and decide to go Dutch. But if you go to the club just to capitalize on other people’s drinks, you should be jailed.
9. People who fart in Danfo
I’d have said Danfo should be banned but the people of Lagos will come for me. Nonetheless, if you do take danfo, make sure you completely empty your bowel. Don’t add to the already polluted airspace.
10. Those who fail to support their friends’/families businesses
Your own Ogbanje is on the hierarchy of Ogbanje’s.
11. Those who join other people’s food uninvited
Like I earlier said, Olopa lo ma ko everybody!
