Monday has to be that rude neighbor who knocks on your door too early, barges in uninvited, and reminds you that the soft life you enjoyed over the weekend was only a dream.
It’s the audacious thief that steals your joy, replaces it with stress, and gives you zero compensation for your troubles.
The disrespect? Unmatched.
Let’s talk about why Monday has no regard for our happiness and why we, as a nation, continue to suffer under its tyranny.
1. Monday Ignores Your Weekend Joy
One thing about Nigerians: we take our weekends personally.
Whether you were eating wedding jollof, dancing at a birthday party, traveling for a village ceremony, or just binge-watching Nollywood classics, your weekend was supposed to be pure bliss.
But does Monday care? Absolutely not.
It shows up, unbothered, dragging you away from the warmth of your bed into the cold reality of hustle and survival.
2. The Sudden Rush of Regret
The weekend allows Nigerians to live recklessly, ordering expensive meals, partying, ignoring responsibilities, and pretending that their bank accounts are not suffering. But once Monday hits? Instant regret.
You check your account balance and whisper, “Ah! Who sent me?”
You remember you have unpaid bills and mutter, “Chai, I go survive sha.”
Monday laughs at you in capitalist cruelty, forcing you back into the workforce where “urgent deadlines” and “morning meetings” are waiting to humble you.
3. Monday’s Biggest Weapon? Traffic Wahala
Whether you’re in Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, or even Ibadan, Monday traffic is a national disgrace.
The roads are jam-packed with frustrated Nigerians trying to get to work, school, or anywhere else that reminds them they don’t control their own lives.
Keke drivers become Formula 1 racers, Danfo conductors start yelling names of destinations like a rap battle, and private car owners develop spiritual patience as Okadas squeeze through tiny spaces no human should attempt.
Your happiness? Crushed under a trailer on Third Mainland Bridge.
4. Employers and Their Unnecessary Stress
Monday is the perfect opportunity for Nigerian employers to remind you that rest is an illusion.
Your inbox, which was peaceful on Friday, is now bursting with urgent emails, meeting reminders, and the classic “Gentle Follow-Up” message from HR.
Before you even settle down, your boss asks, “Can we have a quick check-in?”
Check-in for what?? Can we check out instead??
5. The Fake Motivation of a “New Week”
You wake up to your family WhatsApp group buzzing with motivational messages:
“Happy new week, my dear! May the Lord bless your hustle!”
“This week shall favor you! Step into your greatness!”
“Good morning champions, let’s go and make money!!”
We appreciate the positivity, but deep down, we all know Monday is going to disrespect us anyway.
Monday Is Disrespectful, and We Must Endure
There’s no escaping Monday.
It will continue to remind Nigerians that joy is temporary, hustle is mandatory, and soft life is for the rich only.
The only solution? Survive Monday and wait for Friday, because Friday is the hero we deserve.
