There was a peaceful time when you could stroll into a salon, ask for “all back,” and walk out looking fine with just less than ₦1k gone from your account. No stress, no rebranding. Just good ol’ plait-your-hair-and-go. But ever since they renamed it “cornrows” with emphasis and Instagram attitude everything changed. And unfortunately, our wallets haven’t known peace since.
Because it’s not just “all back” anymore. Now it’s “straight-back stitch feed-in cornrows with layered definition.” And just like that, the price multiplies, the stylist switches to a foreign accent, and you’re checking your balance twice before sitting down.
It’s not an isolated case either. Hairstyles we used to do effortlessly have all been rebranded into luxury experiences.
Packing gel? They don’t know her anymore. Now it’s “sleek low ponytail with swoop edges.” Same gel, same brush, same black thread but with a new name and an ₦8,000 price tag attached. And guess what? You’re still the one bringing your own Eco and scarf.
Bob Marley? That humble, chunky braid that was every student’s go-to? You better not call it that again. It’s now “boho jumbo knotless braids with curly ends.” Same attachment, o. But somehow the curls added ₦12k worth of spice.
And the ones we thought were safe like didi are now disguised as “reverse flat twist with tensionless grip.” What’s tensionless about the way your account is gasping for air?
Zig-zag Ghana weaving? Stylists now call it “c.” Please, what part of this illusion helps me afford it?
Let’s not forget threading (kiko) the childhood classic that used to give us free facelift. Now it’s “African rope twist with cultural preservation technique.” And they will bill you like you’re funding a documentary.
Even your Sunday Shuku is now “elevated crown braid with tribal symmetry.” Sis, who asked for symmetry when you just needed something neat for the week?
Simple twists? They’ve now evolved into “passion spring twists with feather-light bounce.” But after paying for it, your bounce will disappear from shock.
At this point, it’s clear, we’re not just paying for hairstyles anymore. We’re paying for vibes. For hashtags. For aesthetics. For the rebrand.
You’ll bring your own attachments, your own mousse, your own oil sheen, and even help your stylist part your hair. But once they change the name, the whole thing enters premium billing mode.
So yes, the day “all back” became “cornrows”, that was the day peace left the hair industry. And from that moment on, the salon hasn’t been safe for broke girls.
