Because what you want is cash. What you get is trauma.
1. The Card-Swallowing Olympics.
You slot in your card to withdraw small money for the weekend…
Next thing, the ATM holds it hostage like it caught you stealing.
Now you’re staring at the machine like it owes you an explanation.
2. “Temporarily Unable to Dispense Cash”
You’ve passed 4 banks just to reach your own ATM because no withdrawal limit, abi?
Only for the screen to greet you with that wicked line.
Friday has officially started in premium tears.
3. Debit Alert, No Cash
Money leaves your account, but nothing comes out.
You go inside to complain and they say, “Come back on Monday.”
You just stand there- hurt, broke, and disrespected.
It’s giving squeezed bread energy.
4. Queue That Feels Like a palliative handout
You meet 18 people ahead of you.
Sun is hot, stomach is growling, and that one aunty keeps fanning herself like she owns the machine.
You begin to question all your life choices.
5. People Pressing ATM Like It’s a Touchscreen Phone
You’re patiently waiting, but the person ahead of you is pressing with anger. Removing card. Inserting it again.
Oga, na ATM not a DJ console, what’s going on?!
