Because sometimes even earphones can’t save you from Uncle “HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME??”
If there’s one thing Nigerians are known for, apart from jollof rice supremacy and having opinions about everything, it’s being loud and never keeping things lowkey. We love loud entrances, loud conversations, loud music, and even louder phone calls. We don’t whisper. We announce. Our presence is always felt, even when nobody asks for it.
Now don’t get it twisted, we wear our loudness like a badge of honour. “Naija no dey carry last” isn’t just a slogan, it’s a personality trait.
But honestly, sometimes? We too dey loud abegggg.
Especially… on the phone.
Because once that call enters, it’s no longer a conversation, it becomes a debate, a sermon, a live radio broadcast.
Let’s paint a picture.
You’ve had a long day at work. The kind that tests your character and shakes your home training. You’ve argued with the HR, gotten five “gentle reminder” emails, and had the kind of day that drains your energy and makes you question your career path.
All you want now is peace.
Work has ended and you just want to plug in your earphones, zone out, and enjoy your keke ride home in peace.
Nothing more.
But no.
One uncle somewhere has received a call and decides it’s time to shout his life story into the phone, and it’s not just any call. It’s the kind that must shake the foundation of the keke.
From nowhere, you hear: “HELLO? YES, I’M INSIDE K-E-K-E!! EHEN, TELL AM SAY I NO GREE! I NO GREE!”
Oga why na?!
Even if the network is bad, must you scream like you’re in a shouting competition?
The person he’s calling is probably in Yaba, but from the way he’s screaming, you’re wondering if he’s calling the person in heaven or trying to win an argument in Oshodi while seated in Ikeja.You increase your music volume, but his voice is still louder than Burna Boy shouting “Odogwu!” in your ear. You’re not even part of the conversation but now you know his wife didn’t cook, his full name, and how one man is owing him ₦250k.
And he’s not alone.
What’s worse? These calls usually happen in small spaces. Inside keke. Inside danfo. In bank queues. In the salon. In the church compound! Nigerians can shout anywhere, it’s like we think shouting improves reception. Like maybe if you scream hard enough, MTN will get their act together. Or maybe you believe that raising your voice makes your point more valid. Volume na conviction.
E don too much.
What’s worse? These calls are never short. Rara o.
And don’t get me started on the drama. You go dey fear say fight wan break out.
But really, what’s our excuse?
Please let’s reduce the noise. The stress of this country is already loud enough, your voice doesn’t need to join the choir.
432663 757863hello i discovered your post and thought it was quite informational likewise i suggest this website about repairing lap tops Click Here 825069
523727 449679I discovered your blog internet site on google and examine quite a few of your early posts. Continue to preserve up the superb operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. In search of forward to reading more from you later on! 915778
486710 940064I came across this good from you out of sheer luck and never believe lucky enough to say also credit you for any job well done. 214262
816079 322161Safest messages, or a toasts. are typically launched at 1 point during the wedding but are likely to just be hilarious, humorous to unusual as nicely. very best man jokes 955055
515838 234616I always pay a visit to your weblog and retrieve everything you post here but I never commented but today when I saw this post, I couldnt stop myself from commenting here. Wonderful article mate! 882051
213312 868766Vi ringrazio, ho trovato che quanto scritto non sia completamente corretto 885270
526209 483565Thanks for all your efforts that you have put in this. extremely fascinating information . 34162
614493 758572I was seeking at some of your weblog posts on this site and I believe this internet web site is real instructive! Keep posting . 249389
841792 63991Nicely written articles like yours renews my faith in todays writers. Youve written info I can finally agree on and use. Thank you for sharing. 216544
692154 947935Hello! I simply would like to give a huge thumbs up for the wonderful info youve here on this post. I may well be coming back to your weblog for more soon. 292532
458989 826953You created some decent points there. I looked on the web for the issue and discovered most individuals will go coupled with along together with your internet site. 218198
740047 828187Gnarly article mate, keep the very good function, just shared this with ma friendz 293009
98183 516287hey there, your site is fantastic. I do thank you for work 645025
774123 614059Straight to the point and well written! Why cant every person else be like this? 440246
192082 520013Some times its a pain inside the ass to read what men and women wrote but this web web site is extremely user friendly ! . 935853
360181 402719Hey, you?re the goto expert. Thanks for haingng out here. 187091
999689 993645Hello Guru, what entice you to post an article. This post was very intriguing, specially since I was looking for thoughts on this subject last Thursday. 700820
934987 686708Safest messages, or a toasts. are typically launched at one point during the wedding but are likely to just be hilarious, humorous to unusual as nicely. very best man jokes 184073
458558 235722Thanks for yet another informative post. Exactly where else could anyone get that kind of info in such a easy to realize way of presentation. 461149
136142 78474Hi there! Good post! Please do inform us when we could see a follow up! 473258
675660 66972Woh Every person loves you , bookmarked ! My partner and i take issue in your last point. 987052
428597 562688I added this article to my favorites and plan to return to digest much more soon. Its simple to read and understand as nicely as intelligent. I truly enjoyed my initial read by way of of this article. 257855
208616 200847I recognize there exists a fantastic deal of spam on this weblog site. Do you need to have help cleaning them up? I can assist among courses! 792079
390156 47939Wow, incredible blog structure! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for? you made running a weblog appear effortless. The full look of your web site is amazing, properly the content material! 450704
316062 99561Thanks – Enjoyed this post, can you make it so I receive an email when you make a fresh post? From Online Shopping Greek 71323
458236 111758my grandmother is always into herbal stuffs and she always say that ayurvedic medicines are the most effective stuff 38352
840143 991489IE still is the marketplace chief and a huge component to folks will omit your excellent writing because of this problem. 476550
442651 277212I feel this is among the most significant information for me. And im glad reading your post. But want to remark on some general issues, The web site style is ideal, the articles is genuinely fantastic : D. Excellent job, cheers 465207
982253 657456I saw your post awhile back and saved it to my computer. Only recently have I got a chance to checking it and have to let you know good function. 994675
933994 741322Wonderful info many thanks sharing and reaching us your subscriber list. 441908
649130 610913Keep all of the articles coming. I really like reading through your points. Cheers. 811261
285307 53579Very informative and amazing bodily structure of content material , now thats user friendly (:. 101078