Eniola Lasaki
If I were asked this question a couple of years ago, I’d tilt more toward the latter. Who wouldn’t want to be with a smoking hot tall glass of chocolate bar? But as the years progressed, I realized that relationships are not entirely based on physical attributes. Physical attributes are great, don’t get me wrong. We all want partners that turn heads whenever we’re out with them, but what sustains a relationship far beyond that?
Your partner could be your ideal spec regarding physical attributes but do they communicate well? Do they pay attention to the tiniest detail? Do they charge your phone while you’re asleep? Do they fill your car tank when they take it on a ride? Do they remember to leave out onions when making eggs because you hate them? Are they supportive of your dreams even when theirs may be crumbling?
These are the things you’d probably never have to bother about with an intentional partner. They just know when to do these things and how to do them right. With little to no reminders, they prioritize your needs above all else. However, the not-so-delightful part is that your ideal “spec” may lack the intentionality you crave in a partner. Away from the physical, you’d become aware that it’s more about the side of your partner that you cannot tolerate than that which you can.
So again I ask, would you rather be with an international partner who is not your “spec” or with one who is your absolute “spec”?
Love This Piece? There’s More Here
