Haaaaaa only Nigerian children will understand what I am about to write about.
In the time where gentle parenting wasn’t a thing, and you were just one misbehaviour from a hot slap! chai, we really saw things oooo.
If you can relate, keep reading, if you cannot relate, still keep reading, and see the pain and torment we went through as Nigerian kids.
Nigerian parents of a certain era had a punishment system so elaborate, so creative, so deeply committed to results, that it deserves its own academic study.
No two households were exactly the same, but there were enough shared experiences that if you say “Pick pin” to any Nigerian millennial, you will see something flicker behind their eyes.
Something that looks like memory. Or PTSD. If you ask me, I’ll say both!
1.Kneel Down
You see this particular punishment, forget it! You could stay in that position for 72 hours and your mother will not even remember you were there in the first place.
The genius of this punishment was that it required zero effort from the parent. They just send you to one corner and get on with their evening.
2. The koboko behind the door
The Koboko was always kept in plain sight to remind you never to misbehave, because you’d definitely know what’s in store for you.
This just felt like seeing your enemy every day but being able to do nothing about it. The helplessness the sight of that koboko does to us every day is something that we don’t need to experience two times.
3. Go and think about your life
This didn’t come with any physical lashing, thank God! but abeg, how am i supposed to sit in a corner for three hours thinking about my life at eight years old?
You would sit in the naughty corner for hours pondering on a life yoou don’t even understand. Theree’s nothing you can tell me, but this punishment was made to make us run mad or even worse.
Nigerian parents just had a really creative mind for punishments.
4. No Food!
Miss lunch. Or worse, watch your siblings eat hot rice and plantain with large pieces of chicken while you sat at the table with nothing or something unappetizing in front of you.
This kept us in check most of the time. The thought of not eating that sumptuous meal with everything else will give you factory reset sharp sharp!
A very effective one, it turns out, because you never forget it till you grow old.
5. The communal punishment
This was when your parent told the neighbours, the aunties, the family friends and everyone that cared to listen, what you had done.
This fits the popular saying in Nigeria that “A woman gives birth to a child, but it takes a village to raise one”
Omoooo everybody will put mouth in your matter till you decide to turn a new leaf.
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