The motivational speakers told us our 20s would be the years of figuring things out. Finding ourselves. Finding our purpose. Making mistakes, learning from them and hopefully becoming responsible adults somewhere along the way.
Apparently, nobody added burnout to the syllabus.
Because why am I supposed to be discovering myself when I am also trying to meet deadlines, answer emails, pay bills, build a career, maintain relationships and somehow remember to eat?
And before anyone says, āYouāre still young,ā please explain why my body is already behaving like it has done 25 years of overtime.
Your 20s Come With Too Many Expectations
There is something particularly exhausting about being in your 20s because everyone expects you to be building something, but nobody really tells you how tiring the building process can be.
You are expected to have a career plan, but you are also supposed to be open to exploring. You should save money, but the money coming in barely survives the month. You should take care of yourself, but work has somehow occupied the part of your brain where rest is supposed to live.
Then there is the pressure to āmake something of yourself.ā
Social media does not help either. Someone your age is launching a company. Someone else just bought a house. Another person is travelling every other month. Somebody is posting their promotion on LinkedIn while you are staring at your laptop wondering if you chose the wrong career.
It becomes easy to feel like you are falling behind when, in reality, you are simply tired.
And that tiredness does not always disappear after sleeping. Sometimes you wake up and you are still exhausted because it was never just your body that needed rest.
When Work Starts Living Rent-Free in Your Head
You know work has entered dangerous territory when you start thinking about it before you even get to work.
You are eating? Work.
Trying to sleep? Work.
Hanging out with friends? Somewhere in your head, you are calculating how many things you still need to finish.
And suddenly, the job that is supposed to help you pay your bills is also the reason you are too mentally drained to enjoy the life you are paying for.
That is the annoying thing about mental stress. Physical stress at least gives you a clear sign that your body has had enough. Mental stress can quietly follow you everywhere until your body starts joining the conversation.
You may become easily irritated, constantly tired, unable to concentrate or completely uninterested in things you normally enjoy.
Even weekends can stop feeling like weekends because Sunday evening comes with that familiar feeling of, āAh. Work tomorrow.ā
Why is my heart palpitating when I think about work instead of love?
At some point, you realize you are not just tired from working. You are tired from constantly thinking about work, worrying about work and recovering from work.
And Then There Is the Economy
As if being young and confused was not enough, the economy decided to add its own contribution.
Everything costs money.
Food costs money. Transport costs money. Rent costs serious money. Even trying to have a little enjoyment now requires financial planning and a calculator.
ā¦10,000 can barely survive a grocery trip before you remember you still need snacks, toiletries and provisions. You can walk into a supermarket with what feels like decent money and walk out with three items and questions.
So now, quitting a job because you are exhausted is not always an option.
You need the salary.
The salary pays the bills.
The bills do not care that you are mentally tired.
And that creates a particularly frustrating cycle: you need to keep working because you need money, but the constant pressure of work is slowly taking away your energy, enthusiasm and peace.
Still, maybe the goal should not be to survive our 20s by running ourselves into the ground.
Our 20s are allowed to be messy. We are allowed to change careers, discover new interests, make mistakes and not have everything figured out. We are also allowed to admit that something is becoming too much.
At This Point
Rest is not laziness. Taking a break does not mean you lack ambition. And your entire identity does not have to be built around how productive you are.
Hopefully, by our 30s, we will have better boundaries, better salaries, better coping mechanisms and, most importantly, better sense.
Because God will sha help us.
We have bills to pay, dreams to chase and a life to actually live.
Our 30s must be better abeg.
I kept the three headings distinct so each section moves the story forward instead of repeating āwork is stressfulā in different ways.
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