Nigerians never tell a lie, no we don’t, we just communicate in a frequency that requires strong understanding. For everything a Nigerian says, there’s a second or third layer that you need to decipher. Google translate cannot even help you understand. You probably learnt this lingua before you learnt ABC!
If you didn’t, sorry for your struggles oooo…
Here’s a detailed guide to the authentic Nigerian dictionary:
1. I’m on my way
Hidden meaning: I haven’t had my bath, I am not even done sleeping yet, and I might not be done in the next 5 hours.
My best advice for the person on the receiving end is to just chill wherever you are, because that person that is “On their way” is not on their way!! They are not even planning on being there in the next 45 minutes.
2. We will see
Hidden meaning: Lol! this is the ultimate discussion ender in Nigeria. We’ll see basically means, No, definitely not, NOOOO!
Nigerians hate making people feel sad, we are polite in a not so polite way. Saying “we’ll see” just sounds very ambiguous, and leaves room for you not to say anything or suspect they’re clearly not going to do it!
Did they lie? technically…No!!
3. No problem at all
Hidden meaning: The problem is hoooooge, it is magnanimous, very bigggggggg.
A Nigerian tells you that there’s no problem and you confidently believe? Haaaa you’re setting yourself up ooo. When they say there’s no problem, just panic and know there’s a mighty problem.
Panic oooo, panic!
4. By God’s Grace
Hidden meaning: I absolutely have no plan, but I refuse to take accountability.
This statement shifts all accountability upwards with no room for anyone to argue.
Why are you arguing?!
It’s a way of telling you that whether or not they complete a given task is now in divine hands.
5. I was about to call you
Hidden meaning: Your call just reminded me that you exist actually
Trust me when i say this, they never wanted to call you, and if you hadn’t called, they wouldn’t have. Don’t fall for the trap, no matter how sincere they sound.
Now you know what exactly Nigerians mean when they say certain things! No go looseguard ooo
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